newborn

jam menunjukkan 2136H...
aku...tengah layan movie 'my wife is a gangster'...
terasa vibrate di tepi aku...
ayah...msj dari ayah..."along nak kena operate. x tunggu lagi dah"

tanpa terhegeh-hegeh...aku terus col untuk tau condition sebenar...

mak cakap..."along nak kena operate sebab dari td petang 3cm ja...satg nak masuk dah bilik bedah...tapi baguih gak la operate...xdak la sakit sgt...sebab mak dulu pn penah operate"

dari cara mak aku cakap tu...aku tau...mak nak sedapkan hati dia ja tu...besa la...mak aku kn...egois kadang-kadang...aku rasa aku pun turun prangai tu...never cry in front of others...

aku plak...juz menahan air mata dengan lidah terkelu...apa yang aku ckap juz..."ha..ok2.." aku tak tau nak cakap apa weh...
bila dapat tau yang along kena operate...hati aku mula terumbang-ambing...
risau...takut... happy...?? tak sure la aku ada rasa happy or tak...

selalunya owang cakap..di saat seorang perempuan nak melahirkan...owang lain akn trsenyum gembira...
tapi....
napa aku tak rasa cam tu pn...???

mak cakap..."along kena operate sebab baby dah lemah...ni nak selamatkan baby..."

allah ja yang tau apa yang aku rasa bila aku dengar suma ni...
i feel like...i can't believe my ears...i was just controlling my tears from dropping...i was so scared and dunno with whom i wanna share...i just dunno where to start...

then i went to the toilet so that the others doesn't saw me crying....
i washed my face to cover my tears...

only allah know what is going to happen tonight...
dan kepada allah jgk lah we ask for helps....

p/s: along...u must be strong...be strong for ur family...our pray is always there for u...and allah always there for u...